


Pretty Setter Squad Unites!

by HeyHeyHey17



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Romance, eventual angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyHeyHey17/pseuds/HeyHeyHey17
Summary: Kageyama Tobio was feeling bored after the Inter-High and he thought it wouldn’t hurt to make a Skype group chat. Kageyama guessed wrong because now, he gets swallowed by horrible jokes and love problems.





	1. No memes, please

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey!! This is my very first fic so i’m sorry if it’s shit. i wrote this late at night coz i wanted to write a fic immediately. haha i should sleep but who cares?? ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ the first chapter is a little short sorry but pls enjoy

2:37 am

 

 **milkman** added **ayelien** , **sugacane** , **aowl** , **kemna** , **semicircle** , **shitrabies** , and **yahahahaba** to I am bored help me

**milkman: hi**

**milkman: nvm goodnight**

 

9:56 am

 

**milkman: hi i am kageyama tobio**

**milkman: from karasuno**

**sugacane: sugawara koushi from karasuno**

**kemna: kozume kenma, nekoma**

**aowl: akaashi keiji fukurodani**

**aowl: okay bye now**

**sugacane: lmao kenma ur name is kemna**

**ayelien: oh lololololol**

**ayelien: hi i am the pretty oikawa tooru of seijoh!!!!**

**semicircle: i’m semi eita**

**semicircle: this shithead of a kouhai is shirabu kenjirou**

**shitrabies: shut up semi-san**

**semicircle: no you shut up**

**yahahahaba: hi i’m yahaba shigeru from seijoh**

**ayelien: yahaba hows kyouken-chan??**

**yahahahaba: he’s happy**

**sugacane: oh lmao how do u know**

**ayelien: oohohoho yahaba??**

**shitrabies: okay bye**

**semicircle: same**

**milkman: i’m leaving**

**ayelien: hey ken-chan!!**

**ayelien: KEN-CHAN!!**

**milkman: kenma-san efteling earlier**

**ayelien: haha okay**

**sugacane: i’ll interrogate you later yahoeba bye**

**yahahahaba: okay bye**

**sugacane: bye oiks**

**ayelien: umm okay**

**ayelien: hello darkness my old friend**

**ayelien: you know what?**

**ayelien: fuck it**

**ayelien: i’m leaving**

 


	2. GOOdbyet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically i might change the schedule to three times a week because i just really love making people laugh. every chapter represents a mood of one of our pretty setters. the last chapter was kags and now it’s oiks
> 
> the pattern is like this:  
> Kageyama  
> Oikawa  
> Sugawara  
> Akaashi  
> Kenma  
> Semisemi  
> Shirabu  
> Yahaba

11:32 am

 

 **yahahahaba** : i like dogs

 **milkman** : did that just happen

 **yahahahaba** : i love dogs that are MAD the most

 **milkman** : oh wait it’s still happening 

 **ayelien** : yo yo yo i like froyo

 **milkman** : wtf

 **ayelien** : i like it Iwa-chan flavored

 **milkman** : is that a sex joke

 **kemna** : no no no that’s an oikawa joke

 **sugacane** : LMAO IM CRYING

 **ayelien** : so mean, ken-chan!! (￣◇￣;)

 **kemna** : so yahoeba

 **ayelien** : yes exactly

 **yahahahaba** : oML THAT WAS HANAMAKI-SAN!!!

 **ayelien** : yes yes and i’m Iwa-chan’s boyfriend 

 **aowl** : haha u just admitted ur not dating Iwaizumi-san

 **ayelien** : yes i did and i am crying into his chest

 **yahahahaba** : he just read that over my shoulder 

 **ayelien** : oh shit i’m dead

 **yahahahaba** : LISTEN UP HERE OIKAWA, YOU BETTER BE RUNNING RIGHT NOW

 **ayelien** : HeY YOu knboe wHGAT jusT GOOdbyet

 **yahahahaba** : goodbyet to you too

 **kemna** : i smell the birth of a life lasting meme

 **aowl** : you have a gud sense of smell 

 **kemna** : haha thx

 

2:09 pm

 

 **kemna** : i wanna sing a song but everybody has to sing

 **aowl** : there’s nothin rich folks love more than goin downtown and slummin it with the poor

 **kemna** : they pull up in their carriages to gawk at the students in the common just to watch em talk

 **sugacane** : take suga koushi the man is loaded

 **aowl** : uh oh but little does he know that his dear sons Tobio, Tooru, Shigeru

 **kemna** : slip into the city just watch all the guys at work work

 **ayelien** : TOORU! 

 **semicircle** : work work

 **yahahahaba** : SHIGERU!

 **milkman** : and Tobio!

 **shitrabies** : The Suga Sissies

 **ayelien** : Tooru!

 **milkman** : Tobio

 **yahahahaba** : Shigeru 

 **kemna** : WORK!

 **milkman** : i love hamilton 

 **yahahahaba** : who doesn’t?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please share your suggestions and i’ll try to insert em in this here fanfic


	3. My Boyfriend Behaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve finally made up my mind. i’m doing two updates on saturday and one on sunday

4:09 am

 

**milkman** : OML WOW SO MANY SETTERS!!!

**sugacane** : oh hinata

**aowl** : MY SON!!

**yahahahaba** : what the hell

**shitrabies** : Where is Oikawa?

**semicircle** : Hiiiiiiii

**ayelien** : hey

**sugacane** : wait! so every boyfriend is here? 

**kemna** : hahaha i’m single hahaha

**milkman** : Yessss

**aowl** : YES HEY HEY HEY!

**yahahahaba** : i’m not dating yahaba

**sugacane** : JUST SAY YES

**yahahahaba** : ......fine.....

**ayelien** : i wouldn’t call myself Shittykawa’s boyfriend but yes i’m here

**shitrabies** : If I make out with Shirabu, does that count as dating?

**ayelien** : first of all, ew. second of all, yes.

**semicircle** : semisemi is in my hands

**kemna** : then i feel bad for Semi-san

**semicircle** : i feel bad for all the apples that go in your apple pie

**kemna** : HOW DARE YOU

**milkman** : everyone shut up

**shitrabies** : Yes. Shut up. They will read this later.

**kemna** : YOU KNOW WHAT

**kemna** : GOODBYE

 

5:27 am

 

**milkman** : what the fuck

**ayelien** : oh my stars

**kemna** : i think i’m traumatized

**shitrabies** : oh 

**milkman** : wow you actually make out with Ushijima-san???

**ayelien** : Iwa-chan is so mean

**aowl** : i’ve been thinking about this OWL night long

**kemna** : you’ve cat to be kitten me right meow

**aowl** : sorry that was just my loudmouth of a boyfriend

**kemna** : sorry too. that was my lanky kouhai

**semicircle** : stop spamming me i’m trying to cook something 

**sugacane** : stop spamming me i’m trying to screw my boyfriend

**yahahahaba** : did not need to know

**ayelien** : who’s up for another song?

**kemna** : hamilton?

**ayelien** : sure 

**milkman** : i’ll get back at shirabu-san for calling me a sissy

**yahahahaba** : guys, can’t sing i have a....dog to deal with

**milkman** : okay bye

**ayelien** : i have a great idea.

**milkman** : oh no

**ayelien** : haha Tobio-chan!!

**yahahahaba** : wait, why does Oikawa-san always call Kageyama ‘tobio-chan’

**ayelien** : before i met Iwa-chan, i had this friend. She used to call me To-chan. she died in a car crash shortly after i met Iwa-chan. to honor her, i refer to my underclassmen using the honorific ‘-chan’

**milkman** : Oikawa-san...can i add someone

**ayelien** : umm sure 

 

**milkman** added **Atsusamurai** to the chat

 

**Atsusamurai** : hey fuckers

 


	4. ...Why

Atsusamurai: hey fuckers

Atsusamurai: oh hey Tobio-kun!

milkman: hi Miya-san.

Atsusamurai: Atsumu

milkman: hi Atsumu-san

Atsusamurai: wait! how about...Atsumu-senpai!

milkman: fucking hell

ayelien: oh now Tobio-chan is turned on

Atsusamurai: Oikawa Tooru

ayelien: Miya Atsumu

Atsusamurai: i was looking forward to playing u 2 bad u didnt make it to nationals 

ayelien: OKAY SIR, SHUT YOUR LITTLE MOUTH BEFORE I SHIT IN THERE

milkman: Atsumu-senpai don’t make Oikawa-san mad

Atsusamurai: why lol

milkman: he can punch a fucking 12 year old with no shame

Atsusamurai: how do you know??

milkman: ofc, from experience 

Atsusamurai: did he actually??

milkman: Iwaizumi-san saved me lol

Atsusamurai: oh phew

ayelien: WHAT DO YOU MEAN “OF COURSE”, TOBIO-CHAN?!

yahahahaba: lol Oikawa-san

yahahahaba: oh and btw i’m Yahaba Shigeru from seijoh

Atsusamurai: well hello handsome

yahahahaba: i have a boyfriend 

yahahahaba: BODYGUARD 

yahahahaba: I MEANT BODYGUARD

shitrabies: AHHAHAHAHA

ayelien: lmao Yaha-chan!!! (*^ ▽ ^*)

sugacane: MY SHIPPPPPPPP

semicircle: i was just getting some food and i come back to this...

semicircle: boy, am i blessed

milkman: haha yahaba

aowl: hey semi-san what kind of food were you getting

kemna: was it, by chance, Tendou-flavored

semicircle: correct 

shitrabies: we really didn’t need to know that

ayelien: Ohohoho? 

sugacane: Ohoho Hoho?

milkman: Do

Atsusamurai: you

aowl: need

kemna: some

ayelien: peanut butter

sugacane: coz

milkman: someone

Atsusamurai: seems

aowl: real

kemna: jelly!

ayelien: Semishira for life, bitches

sugacane: hahaha

milkman: might I mention that our writer won’t write Semishira no matter how much you beg

kemna: who?

milkman: nothing. i just slipped my mind

aowl: psst kags

aowl: i know who you’re talking about

milkman: you know...her?

aowl: yes i do, young padawan 

 

**yahahahaba** changed his name to **yahoebitch**

 

yahoebitch: that’s better

ayelien: ah kyouken-chan!

Atsusamurai: that’s called a top senpai

ayelien: you make me blush, darling

Atsusamurai: it’s my job, honey

ayelien: cutie

Atsusamurai: boo boo bear

ayelien: dear

Atsusamurai: handsome

ayelien: fucktard

Atsusamurai: ASSHAT

sugacane: that got out of hand

Atsusamurai: i’m gonna hate it here by tomorrow

 

 

 

Atsusamurai: WE SHOULD CALL

semicircle: okay

aowl: i think the next 2 chapters will be our video call

milkman: yeah me too though i’m not too sure

aowl: yeah it’s a lot of work

Atsusamurai: what

Atsusamurai: okay, tomorrow at 4:30

 

 

 

Atsusamurai: everyone here?

milkman: yep

aowl: same

sugacane: yes

ayelien: Yahoo~ 

yahoebitch: lol but yeah

semicircle: ^^^^^

shitrabies: i’m here

kemna: i’m here.

kemna: umm btw

Atsusamurai: if youre asking about companions, they are allowed

kemna: okay

 

 

**Atsusamurai** is calling Pretty Setter Squad 


	5. This...this won’t happen ever again

**Atsusamurai** is calling Pretty Setter Squad

 

Atsumu stares at the black rectangles on his screen. Then all of their faces appeared. “Yahoo~ Tobio-chan, Atsu-chan, Mr. Refreshing, Ken-chan, Aka-chan, Semi-chan, Yaha-chan, and Shit-chan!!!” Oikawa shouts. Then a faint “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” is heard from Oikawa’s side. “Why am I Shit-chan? Why isn’t it Yahaba? Or Semi-san?” Shirabu protests. “Must’ve slipped on my tongue!” Oikawa says doing his signature peace sign with a wink and a tongue sticking out. They all laugh, all except dear Kenji.

 

“Bokuto-san, look.” Akaashi says pointing at Kageyama’s screen. “BOKUTO-SENPAI!!!!!” Hinata shouts. “SHUT UP, DUMBASS! ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN EVERYONE DEAF?!” Kageyama shouts back. “Haha, I’ll teach you a lesson, young man.” Hinata says. He closes Kageyama’s laptop and prances on him. “Surely, Creator-chan wouldn’t write about this.” Hinata says. “Yeah.” Kageyama says pulling the shorter man closer. Then of course, they had their alone time. (Yes lol i’m not writing smut)

 

“Umm...let’s talk about not so sexual stuff.” Kenma says, looking up from his PSP. “Oh wait, is that Kuroo and Tsukki making out?” Bokuto says curiously. “What? OH MY GOD, PLEASE TAKE THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE’S BED!” Kenma yells turning his head around.

 

When KuroTsuki then decides to leave, Kenma faces his laptop, completely traumatized. “This...this won’t happen ever again” Kenma says, shuddering remembering the memory. “First of all, thanks Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says, followed by hums of agreement. “If he didn’t point that out, Kuroo-san and Tsukishima’s virginity would’ve been wiped on Kenma’s bed.” Akaashi adds. There are, of course, giggles.

 

“What the hell, I thought you were pure, Aka-chan!” Oikawa says, disappointed. “There’s absolutely nobody here that is pure.” Shirabu says. “Oh really? I never knew!” Semi says sarcastically. “Fuck you, I’ll barge into your fucking dorm and beat your fucking ass, you mother fucking bitch.” Shirabu replies. “So vulgar, Shirabu-chan!” Oikawa says as Shirabu picks something off his lap and lays it on the ground. (lol is that Mooshijima-chan?)

 

Shirabu opens the door and angrily stomps his way to Semi’s dorm. Less than 30 seconds later, the door of Semi flies open, revealing an angry Shirabu. “Hi there!” Semi says, with a genuine-looking smile. “Fuck you.” Shirabu says. “Oh? But Wakatoshi already did that, did he not?” Tendou says popping up beside Semi. “Okay, goodbye.” Shirabu says, slamming the door.

 

“Hello there, Yahaba.” Atsumu sing-songs. “Shut up.” Yahaba says. “Where is that ‘bodyguard’ of yours?” Atsumu says. Yahaba stumbles on the ground and then stands. He walks out of his room and the other setters hear an almost completely silent “Kentarou!”

 

“He’s coming.” Yahaba says, smiling


	6. Semishira? What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please kill me, thank you.

“Why are you smiling like you just killed your enemy?” Atsumu asks. “Well, I haven’t killed Shirabu yet. But by the time I do, I’d smile even wider.” Yahaba says gesturing to his face. “Fuck you.” Shirabu grumbles. “Oh? In your dreams, fucker.” Yahaba says with emphasis on the word “fucker”. “Yaha-chan, are you high?” Oikawa asks. “Why would you think that, fucker?” Yahaba says. “Yep, he’s high.” Oikawa confirms. 

 

“Yahaba’s takes drugs! Osamu owes me!” Atsumu shouts excitedly. They here shuffling in Atsumu’s background. Then, a hand holding money appears at the side of his screen. “Thanks, bro.” Atsumu says, smiling widely. “Bitch.” Osamu grumbles. 

 

“Anyways, back to KyouKen-chan. What’s taking him so long?” Oikawa asks. “He’s cooking dinner.” Yahaba says with a way too genuine smile. “Why?” Iwaizumi then says, jumping of the bed, onto the ground and right beside Oikawa. “Our moms are...best friends...and...I actually knew Kentarou since...forever.” Yahaba says hesitantly. “What does that have to do with him making dinner?” Iwaizumi asks. “Our...parents...are away...his cooking...it’s...awesome.” Yahaba says. “Tell him to cook for us next time during the farewell party of the third-years.” Oikawa says. “Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you ask him yourself, fucker?” Yahaba says, returning to his original stage. 

 

“When it comes to Kyouken-chan, you’re all ‘I’m in love but I’m a tsundere and I decided to make it obvious that I love him by talking differently when he is thetopic of our conversation.’ and when it comes to your Senpais, you’re all ‘Fucker’.” Oikawa asks. “Wow, I never knew your brain cells were also used for reasons other than volleyball.” Kageyama says. “You’re one to talk.” Oikawa grumbles. 

 

“Hey, Tooru~!! I have your Semishira~” Suga suddenly says. “Ohohoho, really?” Oikawa says, annoying Akaashi and Kenma. “I didn’t know...” Kenma says.“They corrupted him too.” Akaashi finishes. 

 

“Here, I’ll send it to the chat.” Suga says. 

 

 

 

**sugacane** **sent** theyremakingout.jpg

**ayelien** : AJSKNSKSBNSDUNEKSK

**semicircle** : it was a dare

**yahoebitch** : damn you seem pretty chill

**Atsusamurai** : oh fuck i—

**Atsusamurai** : my life is a lie

**milkman** : dang

**kemna** : i’ll stay outta this

**aowl** : same

**yahoebitch** : well...someone’s been awfully quiet...

**shitrabies** : SHUT UP

**shitrabies** : CAN WE GET BACK TO THE VIDEO CALL

**yahoebitch** : sure jan

**milkman** : DIDNT YOU READ THE NAME OF THE FIRST CHAPTER

**yahoebitch** : first??? chapter????

**milkman** : ITS CALLED “No memes, please.”

**yahoebitch** : you know what

**ayelien** : let’s just go back

 

“H-Hey, Yaha-ch-chan?” Oikawa says as he sees the shadow of a person. “Oh, him.” Kageyama says, as if frightened. Yahaba turns his head around finding his bee-haired friend standing near the door. 

 

Yahaba doubles over laughing. “WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT YOUR EYELINER??! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Yahaba manages to get out. “I was planning on giving you dessert. I changed my mind. Fuck you.” Kyoutani says loud enough for the other setters to hear. “Yes! Fuck me! I don’t need desert.” Yahaba says, sounding way too real. “No. Let me go make myself more presentable.” Kyoutani says, walking down the stairs. 

 

“Okay! We’ve got Iwaoi, Daisuga, BokuAka, Kagehina, Kyouhaba, Semishira, Semiten, and...Ushishira.” Oikawa says. “Semishira? Since when?” Semi asks.

“Hey! Creator-chan has no more time! Let her update this chapter!” Kageyama protests. “Yeah, she isn’t at home right now. Let her rest.” Akaashi adds. “Okay let’s continue this chapter tomorrow.” Oikawa says.


	7. Not a Chapter™️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ain’t a chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im So SoRrY

I apologize for not updating last time and this week. Schools starting the day after tomorrow so I’m stressed as fuck. Haha, anyways. I’m gonna try to at least put an update every other Saturday starting next week. I’m really sorry!!!! (*´Д ｀ *)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM sO sOrRy

**Author's Note:**

> i’m planning on updating this weekly prolly once a week unless i’m feeling good so i can drop two anyways thanks for reading!


End file.
